Need support navigating the change in my marriage

[G8r]

I need advice on my 2 current. Primary problems. How do I 180 if I was emotionally and physically unavailable prior to A according to W? W refuses to let me touch her at ALL and it seems like I'm supposed to validate her feelings but share little in the way of mine. Seems like I'm going down the same cheese tunnel.

Although I have no desire to be my W's friend if we D,my telling her this has seemed to push her further away. She knows I'm not bluffing because I haven't spoken to my 1st W since prior to my D with her in 2004. Talk about NC. Fortunately I didn't have any kids with her. Any advice as to how I should proceed? I know myself in that I won't be her friend but what can I do to stop pushing her away?