I have reading along mostly silently since you started piecing. I'll just start by saying, you can't say you didn't give it all you got.
A very wise DBer who became a dear real life friend of mine reminded me today that I can be as understanding as I can but I to have needs that should be met too.
You deserve that. You deserve to get back what you put in. That may one day be in your W, or with another woman.
You did what I have struggled with for many years. being honest with my partners and myself about my feelings and needs. You did that with your W. That is why you feel at peace.
I hope you continue to find peace, love and happiness because you deserve it. DBing is wonderful concept and it works wonderfully for us as individuals. However, to truly save a marriage, both parties have to be willing and dealing with their own stuff too.
Best of luck to you. You'll be better than good, no matter what
