My H has been like this all his life so I knew this when I married him and to be honest we never talked about money issues before we got married or after we got married, should we go joint, separate, we just kept doing what we had been doing. H's #2 wife controlled all the money, H worked and she didn't. #2 was getting child support from her ex and H said she would never include that as their money spent it on herself.
I'm ASSuming that some of the way H is now pertains to that R. On the other hand H's sister told me that as soon as H had money back to when he was 12 he'd spend it as fast as he got it.
H is also very generous, buys expensive gifts. For awhile I resented it but then started thinking well he's going to spend the money anyway on himself or whatever, so I became appreciative of his gifts.
Money has always been a touchy issue and I think it tends to be in a lot of R's. It seems there's usually a spender and a saver. I'm more frugal and have better control over my money. Know that bills/house payment are a priority whereas on H's list they are at the bottom.
Rather than complain now I've been praying and accepting H as he is and not trying to change him or control his money habits.
I do have to let things out once in awhile rather than let them build up inside so I come here...thank you all. When the time is right we will/may get to a point where we can have an adult conversation about finances. But I don't think now is the time.
Holdingon: I was thinking the same thing about H and him not drinking. Can't remember the last time he's gone this long without a drink. Over a year I would guess. I'm sure he's tipping a few tonight though. H hasn't been as sick either, with his stomach I should say.
