B's 10-Week Bootcamp

[Bfice3]

So, to sum up. I did 95% of the work for the kids this week. But I'm the [censored].

Now...after leaving the house, I went to the church and sat in the prayer room and prayed quietly for five minutes asking for peace of mind. Instead of calling my wife and pleading or fighting.

Then I went and got some great mexican food for lunch.

At lunch, I realized I need to be a better person than she is. So, I responded with a 'Thanks.' to her forwarded email from earlier this morning. And going forward from here, I will respond to her emails, all of them, at my own pace, but I won't simply ignore them.

Though, I can't promise that I will call her back.

I also probably could/should have let her know that our oldest daughter is/was spending the night out Saturday night and would need arrangements to be picked up. (But she's 15 and usually makes those arrangements for herself anyways.) I did send my daughter a text and told her to be sure to talk to her mom about it, and she did.

While my kids were with me this week, I tried to remember to hug them and tell them I loved them every time I could. I tried to stay present in every moment that I had them with me so that I was being their Dad, and just a distant grown-up going through a crisis that was responsible for them.

We had fun. Last night my 11 yr old daughter painted my face with her makeup kit and made me look like a freaky clown and I made my very first instagram post lol.

Anyway...that was my week. I don't know if anyone will read this. Probably RosaLinda, and thank you Rosa for reading and listening to all of my stuff.

It feels so certain right now that there is simply no way for any of this to ever work out. But, I still had my wedding ring on today even though my wife had hers off and made sure to hold her hand up to her face to let me see.

Today's homily in mass was about 'Be Not Afraid' and learning to hear God's will. That's what I took from it, and that's how I plan on living this week. I'm going to forge into this week, and be not afraid.

Take care all.

Thank you in advance to anyone who reads all of this. Any and all comments are welcome!