Mu - I'm glad you're feeling better today. It strikes me that what is happening to you is just another level of acceptance. You said it yourself, when you said you were waiting on Santa Claus. You were hoping something would magically present itself, and the situation would begin to resolve. Now you've realized that's not going to happen.
In a way, this is good, M - although it hurts like crazy at the time. You are now aware she is not likely to change. Your feelings are just that...feelings of acceptance of the reality. Disappointed and sad.
Do you know what happens after this? You begin to change again. Change always causes something to shift. I believe once you work your way through the feelings you're now being enveloped by, you're going to climb upwards. You've got too positive a mind-set to stay in a hole for long.
I believe in you. I believe you're just experiencing a normal part of the process. D gave you some really good advice, too. Just hang on, and continue to vent here. You know all of us here care about you.
