Battles of the sexes?

[JulieH]

So being in limbo puts a big hold on my work status, my living arrangements and with moving on to new partner. Would love advise on this. I love working and I have a great job. But am only part time. I am basically afraid to return to work full time. Once we legally separate or divorce I can get my life back, take on more hours etc.

When I went to attorney he told me that husband could not have put himself in a better situation. We were living with my parents (with our combined income this was absolutely not necessary, but our plan was to maximize savings) so when he left he was responsible for nothing. Living with my parents is Awful and embarrassing. husband and I both have professional jobs with skill sets so it makes little sense, except for the fact that we live in the most expensive region of the country and wages do not reflect this. I get a lot of help from parents, but it is not an arrangement I am happy with. Quite frankly, it is not fair to them either. They did not sign up for his. They thought they were being helpful and were not expecting husband to just up and leave. Today I was quite depressed about it all.

It is hard for me to view husband positively. With infidelity a walkaway spouse is betraying his/her spouse. The way my husband left and hoarded his money I feel like he betrayed not just me, but the kids, and my parents as well. I think this is why I have an easier time with the concept of just moving on. Husband burdened my retired parents and feels like they owe it to me to help out. He doesn't think he is responsible for support.

Where I live, his child support payment would not even cover an illegal basement apartment in a subpar school district.

I want to communicate and just ask him directly. To me 6 months is long time and then another 6 months on top of it. Too long to out my life on hold, no? Even if he did want to reconcile, his selfishness and slowness in this whole matter would be very hard for me to understand and forgive. So why delay the inevitable? I don't know anymore. This is something I have been struggling with.

My friend told me "you want him to have cheated because then it becomes easy for you". I still don't know if he did, but am thinking no.