New Year, New Attitude

[ciluzen]

I suspect that it was a combination of all of those things.

When you have let go things just unfold in their own time, the outcome becomes an irrelevance, it is this day that counts.

I dont think I have fully let go. I still have an outcome that is important to me to achieve. It may not happen, but it is my ultimate goal.

Anyone can consider the day in hand and get through that day. It is the past and the future that creates dread. Regret over the past and uncertainty about the future. Today is all you have. Each day the fresh new dawn cleanses the path, things are bright and fresh at dawn.

I have found that living in the moment and appreciating the good things and people has started to add to my positive outlook. Regrets, however, fuel my change. Worries about the future are the things I have truly let go of.

I recommend an early start one morning, rising before dawn to watch the sunext reach across the sky, or light the new day with clouded light diffuse but softening.

Walking bearfooted in contact with the earth, dew or snow. I do this often in my apple orchard, I love in when the snow it's my warm skin. It envigorates me, and sometimes I reach to the ocean in the cold water. At those moments nothing matters more than feeling alive.

I am more careful these days to water purple and an orange hat, at V's age and overweight the buff pj's would frighten the natives.

You have access to snow, to nature, to contrasts, I envy that interaction with the natural world. The gift of skiing freedom, it is beyond my pocket, and my poor knees. Enjoy feel the connection, no one should disease franchise you from the connection, not even a WH.

I am blessed to live in a beautiful place and, as an early riser, I watch the sun rise over the snowy mountains every day. I am grateful for the changing palette of pinks, purples,gold and peach that start each day. I enjoy the subtle changes in the air outside...smells of woodsmoke and fir, dry cold or moist and slightly warmer. I'm starting to enjoy my solitude a bit since I let go of future worries. So much to be grateful for in the moment.

Be aware that once you let go, really let go and shift occurs, it wakes these waywards to anger. They know they are thwarted and they know change has happened. They lose control. That too is to be enjoyed you become the captain of your ship and the master of your destiny. The wayward loses influence. It is beyond their grasp, it creates anger born of frustration and a desire to return to go back to the status quo.

I will keep my guard up, but I believe the anger was what H fueled his departure with. He created a story in his head and has expressed surprise along the way at my reactions to things he has said and done since his BD because they did not fit what he thought I would do. He had convinced himself that I would have jumped up and cheered, "Finally! Yay!" when he said we were done. He's gone back and forth between friendly and very sad. We'll see.

Do not be fooled, shift is shift, move forward, you can still stand but in a different place, facing forwards, living for today, as it is all you have.

V

Thank you for your support, insights, and advice. I love the way you express yourself!