People here are separating sex from ML in that sex is without feelings and ML is. Also one is with your partner and the other a random.
The thing is that I meant both with your partner.
One is romance and tender. The other is raw, nail scratching, sex against a wall type action.
I know that for many sex is the Saturday event to get out of the way for some and the gulp how do I initiate for others.
What I am proposing is that sex in a marriage be both. Romantic tender candle lit dinner sometimes. Other times clothes ripping hot & dirty.
I have known some women to be more in love with love itself than the forms of expressions. They read fantasy books and imagine bicep bulging alpha males to wine and dine them. The thing though is that after the dining part the macho man wants hot and dirty and not "lets go to bed and snuggle until the morning". Some women are also the laid back and let hubby get on with it type. For a man this is a killer. Having had active partners literally forcing me to stay on my back there is nothing more passion killing than a woman who just lies there like a plank of wood. I even had one who had something similar happen to her hair like in the movie "something about mary".
I think a lot of marriages are lacking the passion they once had. They went from the kitchen table to die in the bedroom.
They went from kamasutra to missionary.
How many women who have read 50 Shades Of Grey have actually spiced things up with their spouse or tried to?
I do not understand the fantasizing in a book and then complain that they have a boring sex life without trying.
For men i think it is pretty simple. We watch an erotic movie or a porn flic and pretty much want to try it out. Granted neither we or our spouses may be as flexible in some positions but hey ... give it a go at least.
Another thing about hot & dirty is that it is more frequent. We do not always have the right time, desire, the romantic dinner preceeding, the planets are not always aligned, our horoscope does not recomment it to have romantic and tender. Sometimes seeing your spouse in the shower or getting un/dressed should be good enough to let go of our impulses.
In short, I think within a marriage we should have both sex and ML to keep the flame lit.
