I'll give you the whack you want. Seriously though, you can detach from your h and still care about him and all, just don't let him consume your every thought, or process different scenarios through your head, because those scenarios may never even happen. Detaching means show him kindness and compassion but let him come to you for things and you don't ask too many questions to push him away. Detaching means going out as you've done, spending time alone by yourself if you like, yet also not being rude or unkind to your h. As for the ow, put thoughts of her out of your head, she's not even important to your h if she's even in the picture.
When your h hits depression, replay will pretty much be behind him and depression will overtake his entire being.
Seriously though, you can detach from your h and still care about him and all, just don't let him consume your every thought, or process different scenarios through your head, because those scenarios may never even happen. Detaching means show him kindness and compassion but let him come to you for things and you don't ask too many questions to push him away. Detaching means going out as you've done, spending time alone by yourself if you like, yet also not being rude or unkind to your h. As for the ow, put thoughts of her out of your head, she's not even important to your h if she's even in the picture.