Hi MB, I can recall reading something about ADs and MLC. I think they can be useful in terms of taking the edge off some of the emotional pain for the MLCer. However, the crisis needs to run it's course and I think ADs may just make that course a touch easier...
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi MB, My friends are all married with their own families. We meet but not often though I have this best gal pal whose H is resigned to the fact that I may appear for no rhyme or reason at their house.
I don't have many, if any, GAL partners but I have grown accustomed to drinking cofee, watching movies and basically just doing things on my own. I actually enjoy being on my own.
Past few months I did go out and made some new friends but with my recent lice saga, I have been pretty much holed up at home.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Have you checked into any meetups in your area? A lot of the people here use the meetup webpage / app to find other people in their area looking for friendships, or just getting out and doing anything / something.
Grl, yeah. Best you stay holed up at home. You certainly don't want to encourage your reputation to become "Yeah. She's the nice lady who gave us lice. Remember?"
Hi MB, I can recall reading something about ADs and MLC. I think they can be useful in terms of taking the edge off some of the emotional pain for the MLCer. However, the crisis needs to run it's course and I think ADs may just make that course a touch easier...
Seems like what I've read about it says that the MLC takes so long because the MLCer doesn't want to face and work on the problems because they are too painful to face and work on. If the AD takes off the edge a bit, wouldn't that speed up the process?
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Hi MB, My friends are all married with their own families. We meet but not often though I have this best gal pal whose H is resigned to the fact that I may appear for no rhyme or reason at their house.
Past few months I did go out and made some new friends but with my recent lice saga, I have been pretty much holed up at home.
I have a friend like that. Only problem is that her H likes to keep her all to himself and doesn't seem to want to share with me. HE never says anything to me, but she does sometimes because she doesn't want to have to watch him mope around the house.
Lice saga? That will definitely run off new friends. LOL
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Have you checked into any meetups in your area? A lot of the people here use the meetup webpage / app to find other people in their area looking for friendships, or just getting out and doing anything / something.
?Meetups? Didn't know there was such a thing. Is that what the app is called? So far my "meetup" has been this list.
We live close enough together that we should hang out sometime! I mean, I'm a bit sad, depressed and wet blanket like, but that sounds like fun, right?
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
I'm in the east Tx area. You said you are somewhere around Austin. Depending on where, you're probably about 4 hrs from me. Not that far considering I have NOTHING to do. LOL. Not exactly fond of the Austin area at the moment because that is where the OW lives (in Taylor). I can get past that though.
Haven't heard of meetup dot com. Will have to check into it.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Well, it's been a week today since I restarted the 180 and initiated no contact again with H. Not easy to restart no contact with someone when you had 12 days of thinking things were going to be okay. I have been trying to GAL, but my mind still drifts to him all the time. I have an IC appt today. Not sure how that will go. Last time he basically told me that I need to let H go, move on with my own life and forget about reconciling with H. NOT what I wanted to hear and not what I want to do. I do know that H went to Dr. I hope the Dr gave him antidepressants and that he is taking them so they can help him. I really want to reach out to him and see how he's doing, but I don't want to continue to push him away. I know that the OW has reinitiated contact with him. It's just so hard for me to understand how he can reach out to her, but gets anxiousl to the point that he seems to have panic attacks if I'm around him.
I almost think it's worse going through this a second time. When he told me that he wanted our marriage, he stopped communication with OW. We were together for almost 2 weeks before he changed his mind again. I really tried hard to be the best I could be for those 2 weeks. Now I have to live with knowing that even when I'm trying my hardest and being the best that I can be, it's not enough for him. Just another blow to my fragile ego.
Anyway, I'm really just looking for some words of wisdom or encouragement to help me stay strong so I don't go running over there to check on him. ANYTHING would be helpful! It is the unknown that is driving me nuts. I just want to know if he's working on himself, what he thinks about me, does he want to be married to me, what about OW, etc. Sigh... The questions never stop swirling in my head. If anyone is out there that can help me be strong, I'd love to hear from you!
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Hi MB, I'm glad you're back! My WW is having anxiety attacks too, and it's so unlike her. I can't understand why she won't come back home, back to the normal life we had before. It's just not like her to be this way. Stick around. I have more to say.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
