So, I came home today. Walked in and W was watching tv. I smiled, said hello (of course there was no response), and went into my bedroom. Then, I cried into my pillow for about 15 minutes. I got myself together and asked my S and D to come outside and shoot some hoops for a while. We had fun. When it was over, they went back inside. I told them I had to go shopping and left. I had nowhere to go, but I knew I couldn't go back into my house with her there. Im staying at a friends house until late tonight, then I'll go home. This is not DB'ing. I don't know what it is. I just know I can't be near W now that I know there's an OM. It's beyond difficult to hold in everything I want to say to her. If I spoke to W about my thoughts today, our M would be over immediately. I'm back to where I was yesterday. Not sure if I want to continue this anymore. I need more time to process everything. My feeling is that my W chose her path and now I'm stuck on it with her trying to keep my M and family together. There is NO bigger transgression than what she has done. Why should I continue on her path? Even if by some miracle she wanted to try working on M at some point, there is no way she could ever hit the levels of trusts that I would need now. Yet, I still cry over it. This whole thing just [censored].
Me-40's W- 40's Married 22, Together 29 BD#1- 6/15 W needs space BD#2- OM confirmed PA 1/8/16 Still both home, but not for long
