When your h travels into the deep, dark depression, it will be an experience that he will never be able to describe because he will have entered the pits of hell. The depression that you've been witnessing thus far is nothing compared to the stage of depression that will eventually overtake the replay when the time comes. We do not know when that will occur. It all depends upon how many issues that he must resolve during replay. Lefty, mlc takes a very long time for some of these people to travel through. Their issues didn't just crop up. They have been a life long problem for them and then something triggers the memories and they have to go back to that time and grow up. The average time for the full blown mlc is 2-5 years, depending upon the individual and how much the lbs leaves them alone, so that they can focus on those issues. The more they are aggravated, the longer it will take. Also, by snatching them back into their old lives and trying to get them to live the old lives will cause the mlc to resurface at a later time and it will be much worse the second time around. That's why it is very important to leave them alone as much as possible and do for yourself. It's hard when there are children involved, but you have to focus on you and your son at this time. There's nothing you can do for him, except listen and be supportive. You can't tell him how he feels or what's wrong w/him. He has to figure this out for himself. He must hit bottom on his own.
Now, I am going to caution you and everyone else that posts on this board. Many times, readers will get so wrapped up in other posters' lives and what's happening to them. You can't do this. You have to read and empathsize w/the posters, but you can't allow their problems to be super imposed on to your situation. Each situation is different and yet similiar in some fashion. Each mlcer has a different personality, they all had different childhoods and that's why you must look at each situation from afar. When you begin to read the threads and start trying to pigeon hole your own situation into their situation, it will not work. You will become frustrated and lose hope/faith so much quicker. I strongly advise posters to be there to help others, but always keep an open mind that each situation is different and no two are exactly alike. The time lines are different for each of us and the mlcers.
I really do hope that you enjoy your evening out. It's time to do something special for yourself. Keep the faith. It's a very long, frustrating and hard journey, but in the end, no matter what, you and your son will be just fine. Turn this over to the man upstairs and allow him to work on your h, as he really is a work in progress.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
