twinmom has given you sage advice that we remind posters about..."believe nothing they say and only 50% of what they do". If you start believing everything that spews forth from between their lips, you'll got nuts. Take what they have to say w/a grain of salt and if it doesn't apply, ignore it. I know it's difficult to do so, but sometimes they speak w/o a thought and think also think out loud. They are always looking for a justification for the way they feel. Let it roll right off your back.
BTW, it's time for you to start a new thread.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
