Sotto and bttrfly have given you excellent advice. Go to the meetings and then follow up w/and IC. I agree that stuff being buried isn't gone and it will raise its ugly head when you least expect it. The only way around your problems is to face them head first, i.e., walk through ring of fire and come out the other side. Stuffing stuff down and not wanting to deal w/it won't make it go away. Trust me...that's what is going on w/your h right now. He stuffed down so much stuff growing up that it's raising its ugly head now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
