Adventures of PP, Woofie, and the WAW (10)

[Fogg]

PP, short and simple text like you have would be fine. Emotions might bring you down but keep pushing through them. You're doing all that you can in regards of your M, just have to let go now and accept whatever happens from here on out. Stay strong, great things are in your near future.

[pinn]

I think gs's suggestion is perfect. I would respond something similar to that if it were me.

[PigPen]

Thanks everyone. I did just that. I sent her a pic of woofie and told her he was trying to convince me he was starving to death but was fine. She replied that the photo made her day and laughed at the story.

In her VM she had commented on how much it's been raining out here.

So I wrote back, "You're welcome, when it rains I always think of you."

And then I deleted it before sending it. Going to leave her with the last response and not let her know I'm thinking of her or missing her as I know it's got pursuit and expectation built into it. I feel better leaving her message unanswered.

Appreciate the advice.

PP

[Wonka]

Good catch, PP. You're a smart man. Well done!

[pinn]

Nicely done PP!!... Smart move not sending that follow up text.

[mutatio]

I think this year will be good for you. If you come to the this way the northeast crew would take you out to eat.

What do you say northeasters, tell Pigpen to come our way!

[Gmum]

Yes, come our way!

[Sotto]

PP - good catch with the follow up text. It's easy to get drawn into tender exchanges, but important to remember - Hey, you're in the final stages of D'ing me!

Until or unless that fundamental fact changes - DB like a trooper I say....

Good luck on your trip my friend xx

[gs9]

Wow! I actually said "oh no" as I read your post PP. Great job stopping yourself.

[PigPen]

Well DB family, it's been a year.

A year ago today I spent the morning lying in bed with my W in our beautiful house in the hills. We laughed and joked as Woofie jumped on and off the bed trying to steal our attention, and my W snoozed with her head on my chest.

I made us both an omelette breakfast and then made the fatal mistake of asking if something was bothering her. Heaven's knows that without that question I'd still be happily M'ed today...

Yep, it's been a year since she answered the question with "I'm sorry I don't want to be married to you, I'm going to pack a bag right now and be out of here within the hour."

One full year. I can't believe it.

For those of you new in your sitch's, I'll reiterate something I say a lot here:

I wouldn't trade last year for the world. Not one awful second of it. If I could go back and change anything I would not. I don't want to be D'ed and I probably will be by the end of the month, but I wouldn't go back if it meant being anywhere other than where I am right now.

I don't want to be M'ed to the W I was M'ed to before, but I miss the woman I fell in love with. I can't be the man I was in my M because DB'ing, sobriety, and a year of therapy and honest looks inward killed him. I really like the guy looking back at me in the mirror every morning now and on most days I hated the guy that did the same in my M.

DB'ing IS all about changing yourself, and it's going to be hard, brutally hard. The only way to really change yourself is to let go of your WAS. Completely. The more you pay attention to them, the less attention there is left for your own growth. Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing their taking your valuable time and energy. DB'ing is hard, but oh so worth it.

Today I went to a yoga class, and have a good friend taking me to lunch. Then Woofie hits the beach, and dinner with my old employees. It's going to be a great day despite the tiniest twinge of pain in memory.

I'll say that my failures in my M were directly related to not being able to express myself authentically for a myriad of reasons. Maybe your story is the same. If you can find ways to make that expression authentic, either in your work, your relationships, your conversations, or parenting, I believe that is the true definition of happiness. A happiness that would love to have a supportive partner, but doesn't need one.

Happy Antiversary to my WAW where ever she may be today. I hope her life is as rich and colorful as mine.

Big hugs,

PP