A new way of thinking...

[V2pt0]

Ancaire, none this is easy and it is a continual process, so don't be too hard on yourself. Just yesterday on my morning walk, I was thinking back to the first 6 months after BD and how little detached I actually was. I had to laugh. At the time, I thought I was doing pretty good, but looking back I did so many things wrong. No one is going to be perfect when the emotions are so raw and painful. I took the bait way too many times and let my H rope me into a few too many arguments and R talks. Your H is doing the exact same stuff. Funny hiw even the responses are so close. He is using all of your responses to justify his actions. I knew what I should do, but I just could not help myself. It was not until my H was completely out of the house that I could really start to detach. The ignoring me, the coming home at 3am, acting like a teenager, the OW in the house. It was all just too painful. It felt like he was trying to rub it all in my face, but to be honest none if it had to do with me and he probably wasn't even thinking how his actions might be hurtful. They are too stuck in their selfishness to consider how what they are doing might impact others. They just want to live in their fantasy worlds where they have everything they need, but with the LBS hanging around in the back ground pining for them. When we stop being there pining for them they start to freak out. That will likely get thrown back at you too...you are walking away, your really do not want to be M, yada, yada, yada. Just ignore any negative reaction he has to that as well.

You have come a long way since BD, but keep reminding yourself that this is a marathon and not a sprint.