Welcome to the WAS school of contradiction. This is the most difficult thing you've ever done, I promise. I am smack in the middle and like you, I want something to happen NOW. Know this, it will not. It took a long time to get to this point and it will take time to resolve, one way or the other. And you cannot "fix" it.
LISTEN and do not fight the tremendous, well-meaning advice of the lifesavers here. They know of which they speak. You are WAY ahead of the game. Your W is telling you what she wants and while not fully committing, is going to MC. See that as a positive. And, I'm guessing she is still at home. Back off, now. And listen. She will tell you in her own way, what she needs.
My W moved out 3 weeks ago and this has been very difficult for me. I'm slowly learning about me and the effect I had on the dynamic. And I know I have to change for me. ONE of the benefits of DBing is you may revive your M, but you may not. But I promise, pushing her, pursuing her, saying ILY, saying you will change, please don't do this, WILL drive her straight out of the M. I speak from harsh experience. Do as everyone says, listen, validate, acknowledge and back up. Pursue something for you. Walk, run, work in the yard.
And this is the difficult part, be patient. Time is the ally and the enemy.
Please read "Piece and Quiet" and "Broken Pieces II" if you are interested in my situation and read many of the posts here. Hang in. Write me if you want to talk.
