Thanks so much for all the input (and the book recommendation.) When I asked my question earlier, I'd just put my phone away and have been busy with the boys tonight. H was definitely spoiling for a fight.
15 minutes after his last message, he'd sent another. "Was I treating you badly, or is this just something you made up?"
Now, we were getting along fairly well. He was just puzzled that I was irritated with him, and I couldn't imagine he cared, which is why I informed him we weren't going to be friends, after the way he'd treated me. I was referring to past-tense, not the way he was at that moment.
Is he really that dense? I said "Friends don't treat one another the way you've treated me." Does that sound current tense to anyone?
If I were giving advice to one of you, I know what I would say. Don't respond. He's having a temper tantrum because you made a reference to his bad behavior and spelled out for him that his fantasy wasn't going to play out the way he wanted. He's picking a fight with you, so that he can make you cower and back down.
I know that is sound advice. My plan is to not respond. I will be cordial on Monday, no more - no less. If he pursues the subject I will tell him I wasn't referring to what he was doing that moment - I was referring to the accumulative damage over the past few years. That should get the message across nicely. I'll also add that while we are forced to interact, I intend to be cordial.
I've been way too happy for crumbs, too. Not anymore. I need to interact with him less, not more. He's done a number on me, and I have so much healing to do.
