Two months ago my wife surprised me with a petition for divorce. There was little warning to this however I did notice over the holidays a lot of depression on her part. I responded to the petition with a request for reconciliation and court ordered marriage counseling, which we are in now. The reconciliation at that time (one month after filing) was refused. To the best of my knowledge, she has not had an affair and there are no problems with alcohol, drugs or other abuse issues.
After only a few sessions, there appears to be some progress. The counseling appears to be working to some extent and I am attempting to use the 180-degree ideas and not mention any of our relationship problems. She has asked for (in counseling) for me to back off and give her some time. How long does this take? I do not think she has thought about this divorce process but I know that for this to be salvaged, I have to make changes. Problem is, which ones? How do you approach the spouse and ask for changes without getting into her space? When this process started, I pursued her with flowers, gifts, etc., chased her and asked for her to reconsider and all this did was push her away more.
Being a guy, I want to solve the divorce problem as soon as possible and concentrate on improving our marriage. I am not sure what her intentions are now. I do not know how interested she is in saving it or destroying our marriage yet but at least she has not moved out and is in counseling with me. Ironically, there are some nights when you would not even know we have a divorce case in family court. Most nights we have dinner together. There are so many mixed signals. How do you know if she has a depression problem that needs to be addressed by a DR?
