Hurricane Rising

[NateG79]

Bored at work, how is everyone

[NateG79]

So I may have somewhat done my text inadvertently, this is our conversation today

Her: How was daughter yesterday? I assumed you would lmk when she was going to sleep and I was just watching TV and all the sudden it was past her bed time and I hadn't heard from you. I will txt you and remind you tonight. I really missed getting to talk to her.

Me: She was fine, I just thouht you had gone to sleep early.

Her: No, I was watching wrestling that had recorded earlier. Hey, I have to leave early to go have blod drawn. Do u think it would be ok if I swing by to visit her when I'm done? I'm not leaving work yet and it may take a while at the lab, idk.

Me: I'm not sure. I think we need to stay out of each other's space for awhile.

Her: Ok.
Her: You just drop her off at 1 tomorrow then?

Me: Ok.

Her: Am I going to get to tell her good night from now on? Or are we not doing that anymore?

Me: I don't have an answer for that right now.

Her: Well we need to decide

Me: I'll think on it

Her: Well, can I ask if this change of heart is due to me actually benting about how I felt and not pretending to be fine?

Me: I'm not going to get into a talk about this now.

Her: Ok. We will stay out of each other's space. I will see you when you drop daughter off tomorrow.

She has asked for time and space, and now she seems annoyed that I'm now deciding to enforce space. WTF kind of logic is that?

[2ltl2lt]

There is no logic.

[NateG79]

I was going to edit and say that, but you beat me to it

[Painter]

Well, it's different if *you* set the parameters for time and space, you know?

A couple of suggestions - this board is searchable, so you may not want to include exact quotes from exchanges or names. If you click on the Report link to your post, Cadet can help edit out the name of your D.

[Painter]

Strangely, I can't edit my post today... I meant 'Notify' in the post, and also forgot to suggest I would encourage the contact between your D and W. It is vital for a future custody agreement.

[NateG79]

I decided not to exclude that. As it's for my daughter. If it's for my daughter, I don't want to touch it. But, as for me and my Ww, there's simply too much freedom within each other's zone. I took it as a sign maybe she was opening up to me, but I suspect she just friend zoned me, and I'm not going to sit in that position, while she potentially explores another relationship. She, WW, doesn't know what she wants, but she does want all the benefits. I'm simply not going to share myself emotionally, when all she does is throw it back at me. I think I was at such extreme emotion for so long, it simply shut off. She wants to know what life is like divorced, she's going to see it. No friendship, no sharing, no venting, no me.

[trumpet]

Nate,

Liked your responses. It's having an effect - that's WHAT you want. She has to feel you have changed. It will only stick if you truly change and detach. Be able to see the relationship at the 100 ft, 1,000 ft, and then the 10,000 ft level. When she engages you, and you used to retort back immediately, it fed the beast, Nate is great, he's still my backup, yay WW!

I did the detach thing, almost, and WW noticed. I was still too attached and hurt the first time around, and it just got back to me not yelling, but telling her how much I was hurting. Not attractive.

If you fail on an exchange, it's not the end of the world. But almost guaranteed she's going to make you feel like it's a huge bump in the road. Just remember everyone makes mistakes and she's trying to cover up her mistakes with your very small one. Throw it over your shoulder and keep walking the beach, listening to the waves.

[NateG79]

Thanks trumpet. After D2 goes to bed, my mom is going to stay here and watch over her. Going out with my boys for a good time playing darts. Needed it after this week

[NateG79]

Had to drop D2 off today at W's apartment. That's always hard on me. I always feel like I'm the only one sad when she's not around. Supposed to meet up with friends tonight, not sure what we're going to do yet. Need to get out to distract from this feeling.