My heart broke when I read your post because its so familiar to me right now. The irony is that I can count about 12 years of me putting myself first. I hope my W isn't retaliating against me for this.
Anyway, I'm not sure where you are in this phase of repair but rules and expectations should be very clear and I think one principle that should absolutely be honored is that a request to cuddle shold never be denied .
Hang in there.
I'm getting readyto start a new thread that outlines specific principles that shuold be adhered to by each person in the R. As I've been working on our R, I've noticed that I will go to great lengths to make sure I'm putting W first by cancelling things I want to do etc. My college girlfriend used to say "I thoght you were going to skip meeting your friends and come hang out with me" these were probably unrealistic because because she wanted me to skip meetings that were planned a few days in advance. She was just nuts though.
