I understand how you feel when you say you dont know what to do now, or what techniques to try next. There are times when this gets overwhelming. And overwhelmed is the worst place for us to be. When we are overwhelmed that feeling blocks out most other feelings. Happiness, hope, joy are blocked so thoroughly that we dont see how we will get them again.
Mona, thank you so much for visiting me and posting! I appreciate it so much! You are right, I do feel very overwhelmed. I feel totally consumed with wanting H back, wanting to talk to him, text him, hug him. I seem to be constantly haunted by memories of sweet things he has done in the past and then I cannot stop the tears. I miss him so much all of the time. I haven't found anything that takes my mind off him.
Originally Posted By: Mona52
The only way past being overwhelmed is by taking an action to prove that you are still in control of some things. Something that is measurable to you. If you cannot think of an action, rearrange your living room or bedroom.
I like this idea!
Originally Posted By: Mona52
Once you complete the action, you will prove that you really are not overwhelmed. you have control over your life. You do not have control over him. Your text messages were how you feel, but he cant respond to your feelings. He cant see you have feelings. He cant work with you as a team on family affairs. Do not include him in any more birthdays, cards, gifts, etc. For your own sanity, you have to separate your life from his. Completely.
I know you want to text him through out the day. But you cant. That is just the way life is for you now. But I promise... swear... cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye... you will be happier if you can get to the point where you accept you cannot text him and find other ways to get your needs met.
I am really struggling with this, yes. We used to text a lot. Right up to the end. In fact, he was still texting all the little things that happened in his day for a couple of weeks after he left. He has been my everything for years.
Originally Posted By: Mona52
You cant text him, but you can pop on here and talk to anyone.
This was hard for me. I wanted things fixed MY way. Because MY way was logical and right. But the truth is, our way does not matter one bit. We only hurt ourselves by trying.
Patience is needed right away for you. Find an obsession that will distract your brain and use it as a shield while you practice patience. This is a long, slow journey. Rip your focus away from crazytown and back onto you.
I know what you mean, we do hurt ourselves trying. I am not a very patient person by nature to be honest. Everything I do I like to get it done straight away. Maybe that's why I'm struggling with this so much. If I'm decorating - I stick at it to the point of exhaustion to get it done, because I want it done yesterday, for example. Hard to break my own mould.
