No, I'm more a Southern Comfort/Baileys/Amaretto man myself - shorts, you can't beat them! If it's wine, it's got to be really sweet. Champagne/proseco just doesn't do it for me. It was free, so I drank it!
If it comes to beer, I used to drink Guinness, but the after effects the next morning were 'different'! I'm now either a Magners or IPA drinker. I'm also partial to some advocaat. I spent a bit of time in the Netherlands, where it's the national drink, and I don't mind that neat or with lemonade!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
I love all the drinks you just mentioned! I used to drink Guinness a lot, back in the day.
I've recently learned I have to give up drinking. I suffer from Major Depression that is normally beautifully controlled. I had a really bad thing happen during this entire debacle that was a direct result of my brain chemistry, already iffy because of my H's actions, going haywire after drinking some margaritas. I never knew such a thing was possible! It's never happened before, but then I've never been in this situation before.
So, for me? I just decided now that I know it can happen, it's just best not to tempt fate and avoid all alcohol. It hasn't been much of a struggle. It's just that I like the occasional drink, and giving it up is somewhat akin to deciding to not have cookies anymore. Sure, I can live without them...but darn! They were good. LOL
Thanks to NDY, Sotto and Huddy for the great advise and sorry to hijack your thread Huddy
I dont intend to separate or file etc but during our last R talk W implied she wanted a 2 year separation followed by divorce - amicable of course whatever that means.
I don't think W has seen a L and suspect she has spoken to one of her GFs who went through a very messy divorce with an a**hole husband. There was no OM/OW and GF probably D'd via unreasonable behaviour - he watched porn and smoked pot in the house with the kids around - he made the GFs life hell through throughout the D contesting custody and money/pension to get as much as possible from her. - he is a painter/decorator, she a high flying company exec on �100k+!
Sotto: Is there a timeline for D under Unreasonable behaviour?
What are W's options if I dont move out?
She can move out or she can file for D (via unreasonable behaviour) or we live in limbo? or she can threaten D unless I move out
Anything I'm missing?
My options? Stay in limbo or separate (but the divorce timeline starts ticking.
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
W brings over the kids and instantly thrusts a piece of paper in to my hand. W has requested that I remove my name from the joint bank account. This isn't a problem as it's something I planned to do anyway. She requests I sign in instantly. I decide to tell her I'd do it in my own time. Instant pissy fest!
As I perused the document, W then asked me to provide my bank card and either give it to her, or, cut it up in front of her. This is obviously ridiculous behaviour and I tell W that I will destroy the card when I'm ready and won't hand it over. By now W is in a mega huff and is shouting one word answers/questions at me. The kids are wanting drinks/snacks, so I decide to see to them first. Some kids are deserving of my attention, the bigger kids will just have to wait their turn!
I sign the required document, but refuse to cut up the card in front of her. It just smacks of control. W then tells me that I am having going to have to 'have the day off' as she is going to her parents and the kids need picking up from school. Again, I validate, but tell her I can't promise and I will see what I can do. Privately, I will have half a day - I don't really care if she's going clubbing, swinging or whatever else her sister has got planned 230 miles away, it's the principle of control.
So, it goes to prove that when you stand up to your WAS, they will get extremely angry and manipulative when you don't play by their rules!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
How are things not seen you for a few day how is life treating you
How are you managing the children and work how is the new place did you have a good Christmas and new year I think you may be away if I remember rightly so enjoy
Take care
Ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
So, it goes to prove that when you stand up to your WAS, they will get extremely angry and manipulative when you don't play by their rules!
Absolutely. The worst spew I get is when I stand up for myself. This is new behavior from me and STBXH doesn't care for it much. I always get attacked when I disobey in some fashion - such as not agreeing with something he says...so ridiculous.
This situation is not fun. I cannot recommend it for anyone.
Huddy, you are right to not let yourself be bullied but you came across as being controlling yourself.Just because she asked/wants you to do something is not a reason not to do it. I think you are right in what you are doing but sometimes are borderline to crossing over where you don't want to go.
Just a friendly observation.....not a critic.
Without giving false hope I think you may get her back. If you still want her by then!
All the best.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
No, I've been looking at some old chums on the forum, but have been super busy, so not had much chance to post!
The incident with the card Roiste had to be seen to be believed. My W handled it with such aggression - pushing stuff in to my hand, expecting me to sign without reading; expecting me to cut cards up in front of her - I had to say no otherwise I would have come over as a pushover. I'm not quite sure how any of my actions came over as controlling. I simply refused to do what she wanted, when she wanted it done. It would have been humiliating to do all this in front of my three kids. Don't forget, she then wanted me to do something that favoured her, not me.
I have been without the kids this weekend, so I went for a good six mile walk. I had something to eat whilst I was out and although it was incredibly cold, I enjoyed it. W had asked me to help her move the big TV from storage at my flat to her temporary accommodation. I agreed to do this on Saturday and asked her to contact me to tell me what time she wanted to do it etc. She didn't call, so I left it. I had planned a GAL activity tonight, but as it's snowing and really cold, I decided that the TV was more entertaining. Don't get me wrong, I would have loved to go out, but it would have meant a 22 mile round trip, and the night bus home - in the snow, sometimes you've got to say no!
I can't help, though, shake the feeling of redundancy. One minute you're a valued part of the family, next, with no warning, you're no longer required. That is the only part I am having difficulty with. I also fear the day I may have to do dating - at 43 the pool of available people is low and whilst I have got my confidence back, I'm not sure I can muster the ability to put my 'bullsh!t' filter back on. That is one thing I have developed, that I don't like; the inability to actually talk to somebody and if they start stringing me a line, I can't help but tell them I think they are talking nonsense and I walk away or move on to somebody else. It'll come with time, I suppose - lack of trust and all that!
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
