You cant beat the AP at their game; any effort to try is wasted.
About your second sentence, I'm not sure I understand that one. I think I read on here that you can be the OM to the OM??? For me, that statement helps me because now I can change my mindset from my wife being my wife to just her being an attractive woman I'd love to flirt with and get to know better. She's my wife but she's "off limits" to me kind of thing...make sense?
Why do you want to be any kind of OM? You want to be someone worthy of being an H. You want to be a man only a fool would leave. Not a snake preying on other people's relationships.
You need to emotionally walk away from the situation and become that person. To compete with the OM for your W's affection is a total waste; you wont win. He is below you and not worth competing with; she wont come back to you until she realizes that.
