Quote: "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to God my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, let it be right after I see my wife in a thong and we have sex."
OK! Guess that explains how much it's appreciated... just can't get past my hangups with my body that screams: DON'T PUT THAT THING ON YOUR A$$ !!! Would he want me to prance around in the thing? I'm not sure I could even stand up wearing it!!!
My wife would never wear them, then I bought her a membership to a panty of the month club...all the panties were thongs (lucky me) and now she'll wear them about half the time, not that its leading to any more ML for me...but the scenery is improved .
I love them, something about how they look/fit, they're just sexy. Also a woman wearing a thong seems confident in self and that's sexy. Even if the "back-side" isn't perfect. Some of the sexist women I know don't have perfect bodies...but they believe they are sexy and carry themselves (treat themselves) that way. If I had a choice between my current sit of a wife with a perfect body but no ML (and a bad attitude about sex) or my wife with a much less than perfect body but confident about her sexuality I'd take the second choice all day long.
Quote: We had a talk this afternoon, and he expressed his desire to 'shake it up' a bit! He would love a quicky in the kitchen at lunch time, or to wake up Saturday morning and get a session in before the kids wake. I am not a 'middle of the day' kind of girl, but I told him I'd give it a go!
All the HDs are VERY jealous of your hubby ;->
Quote: I know he is very visual... I guess part of my problem is the fact that 4 kids has taken a toll on my body! He still looks the same as when I married him... it's just not fair!!!
Odds are very good that it is not a big issue for him, but it's understandable that it's a big issue for you. I know my wife does not look as young as she used to, and I'm not physically blind, but when I'm feeling close to her, what matters is that it's her, the person I've aged together with. And that she's available - which she isn't, but you know.
There's one other thing that matters. It's REALLY hard for guys to talk with their ladies about body issues, because it's a catch-22 situation. For a husband, there is no right answer to the question, "do you think this dress makes me look fat?" If she asks, "do I look older than I used to", the answer is "yes, but that doesn't bother me". But that answer doesn't seem to earn me any brownie points. If she asks, "do you think X is pretty", there is no good answer. Even if I don't think she's pretty. Odds are that there are some women that your husband thinks are pretty, and odds are that it doesn't matter to your relationship. Odds are that he likes you, he just wants you to want to be with him physically. So leave him out of your body issues, and obsess about them with your girlfriends over coffee. (There are, of course, men who sleep around or who need to prove themselves by finding the prettiest young thing to sleep with or whatever, but I'm assuming from what you've said so far that your hubby isn't one of those.)
Quote: I always felt like it was just one more demand on me.
And he probably felt the same way. I really hate to make one more demand on her. And having sex with someone because they give in to your demands ... it's just the wrong dynamics.
Quote: To all you HD people, I'm praying that your spouse can figure out a way to get back to you...
I REALLY appreciate any and all prayer. And prayer that I stay focused and avoid temptation is also appreciated - I'm managing not to sleep around, but there's a lot of opportunity and temptation is very strong.
Quote: Now, I'm willing to give it a try... if you can convince me that it's worth putting myself through the pain and humiliation of actually purchasing one!!!
But please, not if you find it humiliating or demeaning. If you find it a fun costume that helps you play the role, go for it, especially if you think your hubby will find it a convincing outfit for the role.
Quote: I know he is very visual... I guess part of my problem is the fact that 4 kids has taken a tole on my body! He still looks the same as when I married him... it's just not fair!!!
Yes, its not fair!! If your H is visual (as most men are) and you are uncomfortable with your body image, don't let that hold you back. Theres lots of lovely lingerie that can hide the bulges. You can be creative with positions, leave your lingerie half on/off (more sexy that way) and he'll be none the wiser and you would feel better too.
Hey, be thankful that your H still desires you. Just imagine how its like for us HDW with body image confidence whose H no longer desires them and refuses to talk about it.
If work and children is overwhelming you, speak to your H to see how he can help out.
I bet you are much more attractive than you give yourself credit, most of us are. It doesn't serve your best intrests to dwell on the negative, nor is it anymore objectively accurate than pulling out all the incredible positives. Bodies are just bodies and pretty great wonderful things to have, and all of them are flawed in some ways. WE will ALWAYS find someone around in better shape, we also will ALWAYS find someone in worse shape. Becasue you are a kind, empathic, lovely woman of character and integrity, you wouldn't belittle or degrade someone who's body didn't work as well as yours. So DON'T treat yourself disrespectfully. Just like it's NOT ok to call someone else negative names, it's equally NOT ok to call yourself names.
You don't love your challenged child any less, or find those imperfections offputting. You don't love your husband less for his imperfections. Why would your H love you less for yours, especially for things beyond your control (stretchmarks). Trust your H's Love for you. Trust that your H is just as capable and willing of overlooking, and dismissing imperfections as you are.
This is not to ignore the fact that the healthier we are the more attractive we are. Also the more attracted we are. Honest assessment is different from body bashing. You have to be aware of your current shape, so you can plan how best to improve it, or to make choices, like maybe not eat the 3rd peice of cheesecake. It's also important to realistically know your body's current capabilities, so you don't injure yourself doing to much too fast. (like deciding to run a marathon the next week when you haven't trained and currently get winded at half a block )
Finally it's all about attitude. I know some absolutely gorgeous women who are rather obese. Yet what I notice about them is how pretty they are, how fun to be around, how good they look, how confident they are, and sexy, not how big they are.
When you feel sexy, confident, beautiful, and wonderful, what did you do to get that way? What are the circumstances? Get specific, H nuzzled my neck, I did my nails, I'm wearing scent (hardly ever happens) I colored my hair, I did my hair, I bothered with makeup, we picked a new restraurant, H called me cutie, I exercized, I bought myself flowers, I stopped in a florist just to browse, h bought me flowers, I'm wearing clothes that flatter me and fit, I'm wearing different earings, we took a shower together, hmmm wearing a thong (gotta try that and get me one in my current size) I'm wearing my best fitting sexyiest most comfy bra, I got enough sleep so I was able to do a bunch of the stuff above.
Just a few things to ponder
This has been a fun thread to read, btw I am also LD wondering where my passion went.
Jen, My wife is slim but has a slightly sticky out tummy which she complains about but guess what - I love it. It is beautifully soft and best of all, my children have all grown in there So what may be an issue for you may actually be a bonus for him. SD
I will tell you that my W is not the skinniest person on the planet. I will also tell you that when she wears a thong my heart skips a beat. I say just go for it and have fun with it. A little secret us guys like to keep to our selves, when a woman bends over and we can see that little piece of panties poking from out the top of their pants I really dont think there is much that is sexier. So maybe get some and then just bend over in front of you H and give him an eyefull with out him knowing that you bought any! I bet you will see a big old grin on his face.
Quote: A little secret us guys like to keep to our selves,
HEY! Don't be giving up our secrets...you're breaking the Guy Code!
Quote: when a woman bends over and we can see that little piece of panties poking from out the top of their pants I really dont think there is much that is sexier
Wait...letting the visual image take shape...*sigh*.
Yeah, you're right Lee. It's okay to share that, when you're trying to get more women to drive us crazy.
I'm not sure I could even stand up wearing it!!! 
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