Need support navigating the change in my marriage

[G8r]

Thank you the pep talk Mona52.

Although my W wants me to move out, I have no plans to leave the house. Last night during her D initiated discussion, she tried to persuade me by saying that I can't afford the house on my own. She can't really either but her mother is wealthy and would help her. She also threatening to have the sheriff remove me from the house but she doesn't know what she is talking about. Our house is jointly owned. Today she tried to persuade me by trying to guilt me when she mentioned how hard it is and will be on our D3. Why would I want to make them miserable? I wanted to respond but didn't.

I probably shouldn't have let her hit me or bite me in the past, but prior to last August we rarely argued, maybe once or twice a year. Turns out this was a major problem and not an asset because she let things stew for too long instead of talking to me. Anyway, next time she does something like that I won't hesitate to report it. At that time, I didn't want to see my D3's mother go to jail and we quickly patched things up because her actions were so out of character for her. Although I still wouldn't want her to go to jail, I wouldn't hesitate to report.

Funny you mention hate. She keeps saying that she knows how much I hate her right now because I haven't been talking to her and I give her short answers when she asks about my day. Lol. She also thinks I hate her because I told her that under no circumstances would we be friends if she goes through with a D. I made a mistake though. Maybe I should have let her think I would hate her but I replied that I would be too hurt to ever speak to her again. Told her that maybe 5 or 10 years down the road I might be better enough to speak with her again because she has told me many times that maybe 5 or 10 years down the road we could get remarried.

I would like full custody but I don't know if I could do it. I think I could if push came to shove but it is so much easier having us parent together as a family. We also don't have any immediate family in the area but her Dad is 2 hours away if we have an emergency.

Custody is the MAIN thing preventing me from letting go fully. Although I would like to remain in M, I would be fine letting her get a D if I could have full custody and knew that I could handle that responsibility. IMO, D3 seems to respond better to me. When I had her by myself over Christmas (on vacation so no work) she never once cried for her mommy. On the other hand, she regularly cries for me when she is in my W's custody. I'm not saying that I'm a better parent because I truly believe my W is a good mother, I just love my D3 very much and want to be very active in her life. One of the reasons that I took a position teaching high school students Physical Science is that I was inspired by my D3 to try to inspire more young women to enter math and science fields because they are needed.