Quote: We had a talk this afternoon, and he expressed his desire to 'shake it up' a bit! He would love a quicky in the kitchen at lunch time, or to wake up Saturday morning and get a session in before the kids wake. I am not a 'middle of the day' kind of girl, but I told him I'd give it a go!
All the HDs are VERY jealous of your hubby ;->
Quote: I know he is very visual... I guess part of my problem is the fact that 4 kids has taken a toll on my body! He still looks the same as when I married him... it's just not fair!!!
Odds are very good that it is not a big issue for him, but it's understandable that it's a big issue for you. I know my wife does not look as young as she used to, and I'm not physically blind, but when I'm feeling close to her, what matters is that it's her, the person I've aged together with. And that she's available - which she isn't, but you know.
There's one other thing that matters. It's REALLY hard for guys to talk with their ladies about body issues, because it's a catch-22 situation. For a husband, there is no right answer to the question, "do you think this dress makes me look fat?" If she asks, "do I look older than I used to", the answer is "yes, but that doesn't bother me". But that answer doesn't seem to earn me any brownie points. If she asks, "do you think X is pretty", there is no good answer. Even if I don't think she's pretty. Odds are that there are some women that your husband thinks are pretty, and odds are that it doesn't matter to your relationship. Odds are that he likes you, he just wants you to want to be with him physically. So leave him out of your body issues, and obsess about them with your girlfriends over coffee. (There are, of course, men who sleep around or who need to prove themselves by finding the prettiest young thing to sleep with or whatever, but I'm assuming from what you've said so far that your hubby isn't one of those.)
Quote: I always felt like it was just one more demand on me.
And he probably felt the same way. I really hate to make one more demand on her. And having sex with someone because they give in to your demands ... it's just the wrong dynamics.
Quote: To all you HD people, I'm praying that your spouse can figure out a way to get back to you...
I REALLY appreciate any and all prayer. And prayer that I stay focused and avoid temptation is also appreciated - I'm managing not to sleep around, but there's a lot of opportunity and temptation is very strong.
He still looks the same as when I married him... it's just not fair!!!
