I have re-read your post a number of times, and I think you say it best. I need the cuddles, and kisses, and touches that DON'T lead to sex, just as much as he needs the cuddles, kisses and touches that DO lead that way! I think I could convince him today about that, because he's 'feelin' the love'!!! But he would probably feel differently about all that touching that leads to nowhere if we hadn't ML in a while!

We had a talk this afternoon, and he expressed his desire to 'shake it up' a bit! He would love a quicky in the kitchen at lunch time, or to wake up Saturday morning and get a session in before the kids wake. I am not a 'middle of the day' kind of girl, but I told him I'd give it a go!

I know he is very visual... I guess part of my problem is the fact that 4 kids has taken a tole on my body! He still looks the same as when I married him... it's just not fair!!! I'm hoping that all this thinking about ML and the planning and scheduling will get me more 'in the mood'!

Quote:

So we say nothing, and don't believe it so much the next time, and the barriers go up one step at a time.





I think this is how my H has been operating since a long time... I asked him today if he thought he had a high sex drive, and he asked me if there was a level above high! Guess he's learned that it keeps the peace if he doesn't ask. And, to put icing on the perverbial cake, when he did ask, I always felt like it was just one more demand on me.

It makes me sad to realize all this, but when I think of where we could be headed, I'm thankful I've found this site! I'm not sure he would have left, but he was leaving emotionally already. I always felt like we weren't 'connecting' lately, just couldn't put a finger on why. I would even bring it up, but he obviously didn't feel safe enough to get into it with me.

I'm really trying to get myself figured out, and I really love my H... I'm just so glad this bb is here! To all you HD people, I'm praying that your spouse can figure out a way to get back to you... For me, I don't think I would have put this together if it wasn't for finding this site totally by accident. For the LD people like me... just try it... you may be surprised by what you find! Already my H is paying attention!

For my H and I, having a special needs child makes marriage difficult, and the rate of divirce is extremely high, so anything I can do to keep us together is important. Boy, did I underestimate the importance of ML in a M!


I'll update you on our progress!

Thank you all!

islandgirl