Now what/ Take 2

[Cherry]

This is great news that he is saying he is in. This is a way is where the hard work begins. If you've seen my sitch, me and h went through this last year, he re committed in April and then October time he's back to not sure if he's in.
Now part of this could be that he is just an idiot, or that he has deeper issues, and he seems to blame me for them. But, one piece of advise I was given which I didn't do, and I kick myself for- is to see a mc. We thought we could work through it together. And while we did to some level, I think a mc would have avoided us getting back to here.
Also while I kept up with some gal and some dbing, some old habits crept back in. And I probably became a bit codependent, this is an issue. I personally think some life of your own is absolutely crucial to a m. It gives you a bit of time apart, it enriches you as a person.
I find myself back here I'm sure because of these errors, however there is still love there, and I know that. And the element of trust is getting there. Like txhubby says- you may see your h on his phone and start to get panicked- and this is natural. To start with, and even now- boundaries were laid out. And transparency is one of the things at the top. You will be in a reluctant dark place at time.
When recommitted, I told my h I needed to know details of his a, others don't. He told me honestly, and I validated him and thanked him for honesty. But to find out he had sex with ow- I had to grieve that. And I think talking through the emotions- and crying in front of him helped.