No Contact think it just drives H farther away

[Sotto]

"I am still holding onto the belief that we were the perfect couple."

This is a useful 'myth' to examine I think. I also thought me and H had one of the best R's around....right up until he ran off with an OW...

I've realised that there are no 'perfect couples' - no 'soulmates' no single person out there for you (and no-one else.) We are all just imperfect folk (crooked staffs if you will) hoping to belong and be loved. Making long term R's work isn't easy and I have learned more about the stages of relationships and how they can go from bliss to disappointment, to misery and hopefully onto contentment.

I've also learned that both me and H are conflict avoiders - which meant very few arguments (which I thought was good) and lots of suppression (ah, not so good.)

I guess I'm trying to say that a more realistic view or our M's - of the people within them, the dynamic, our separate traits and flaws - can be useful in letting go of the 'perfect couple' belief.

Hope this helps and provides some food for thought xx