I did feel a lot better after I emptied that one drawer. But it was really stressful too. I could feel my heart pounding and feel myself starting to get panicky as well.
But it's something that I definitely need to do.
I'm starting to put together a text reply to my H, and an email reply to one of my (also one of his) bosses.
I'm thinking of including the following information in his text:
* Thank you for your messages * Of course, I'd be more than happy to help out in arranging the return of all of your personal possessions and documents to you [additional note for you guys: I'm saying this for legal reasons, so I appear 'reasonable'] * I'd ask you to be specific in the things you need at a particular point in time (I've been a bit confused by exactly what you need over the past few messages) * I'd ask you to let me know where they are * Please arrange collection as per outlined previously * For future reference: I'm not willing to use a meeting that I had arranged with one of my previous employers to discuss my own future and options to resolve any of your own work-related issues.
And for my boss...this one is trickier. This is a someone that we've both worked for in the past. I have tremendous respect for her, and she's always been very supportive of me. I think she's always clocked that I've been very much in my H's shadow.
* Apologies for not replying sooner, but I've been quite ill * Of course, I'm very happy to help with xxx's passport - on this occasion * If I could ask that in future you deal with xxxx directly about any matters pertaining to his life and work (and not to involve or defer to me). This is no longer xxx's 'home' [note for you guys: Reading her email to me again, she said that it had taken it some time to for him to come clean about his passport being still at 'home'] * Any sense of responsibility or obligation that I may have had towards him stopped when he decided to walk out the door [additional note for you guys: is this bit necessary? I was thinking of letting her know that the split was his doing and not mine. But I don't know. Maybe too much information? Maybe just what I'd written above about this no longer being his 'home' is enough?]
