Hello, I am having a bad day, anxiety in the fear of an unknown future. Any advice to get me through this bad morning? I want to be in a good place and ok with everything. Thanks in advance
Remember, a feeling is just a feeling...they come and they go and expand if we allow them that power. Are we ever OK with everything? Probably not and if we wait for that to be the criteria for feeling better, we never will. Just be OK with where you are today knowing that tomorrow will be another day and another feeling will come. Hope you feel better soon.
Surgery is over and all went well. She was quite the brave little girl. She was freaking a bit when they couldn't find a vein for her IV, but they didn't stick her until they found one. We'll, I'm the one who found the vein, lol. Luckily the. Ruse got it in. I went in the OR with her which was difficult. They gave her the mess, her eyes rolled in the back of her head, but she did not release the death grip on my hand. She woke up crying and in pain, but I asked the nurse to give her more pain mess and he did. Her adenoids were apparently one of the biggest they have seen too, so those are gone. She's going to be breathing so much better. Ex came back to the house and ran out and picked up some orange sherbet and lunch for us ( of course I gave him $20 and he happily took it). One would think she would have slept all day, but no, not my energetic kid! Not a wink! She let me sleep a little thank god. She's in bed sleeping next to me now.
There is thankfully zero tension between us after all these years and it provides her with much comfort. I'm so very happy for that.
He knows she is meeting my BF next weekend and that BF and I are planning a vacation away with the kids in feb. He's cool with it. He has no reason not to be. I spent another wonderful weekend with BF. We went to his Work Christmas party and had a blast. It was nice being someone's date again. And not anyone's. Being his:). He worked on Friday and I hung out at his house and went out for a bit and then he came home. And having someone come home after work was, well wow. It's the little things in life. I'll never take them for granted again. I even met his daughters mom the next day. She's nice. We hung out at his house while he got his trees cut down, then we went out and bought a really nice dinner to make. He spoils me in ways I've never known. He looks at me like I'm everything. Even if this ends, I know it exists. But I see a future and I'm excited to see where it goes.
I'm glad your little one made it thru her surgery very well. Nothing scares a child more than someone poking around looking for a vein...glad the nurse didn't stick her until a good vein was found.
She'll recover quickly and while doing so, enjoy the ice cream and attention.
I am so glad that things are working out for you and your BF. You deserve a man who will respect and treat you well. Enjoy this new found feeling and always remember...you are the prize!
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Happy New Year all! I've been so busy and things were a bit crazy, but I'm back to the normal grind. And school. Ugh.
A lot has happened, I won't get into too many details, by me and BF hit a hue bump in the road and it almost ended. It didn't but it's clear the distance ay not be something he can handle in the long run. I get it too. We did get over our almost breakup and went on to have a lovely Christmas just me and him and then he met D8 that weekend and it went great. I couldn't have asked for it to have gone better. Then we spent New years together and our D's met and that went really really well. I was pretty nervous for that, but they clicked great. We spent the whole weekend there, went to the hotel at the beach for one night and us and the kids had a blast. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it felt to experience that, all four of us. We booked and finalized our plans for FL in feb for all four of us. We are all really excited.
But now we don't see eachother for a few weeks. And I don't know how he is going to deal. How I can deal if he distances himself. Or decides he can't do this. I mean, I know I have survived it all. I will deal. But I can't say my heart won't be broken. I just don't know how much hope we have. We see differently right now in the time being what the plan would be if I moved there. And I am standing firm on the way it should happen if it does when and if we get to that point. We had a talk and we are going to give it a shot and see what happens and take it day by day. But sometimes I just don't know. Sometimes it just seems so unfair that I waited so long to find this kind of love and it's probably logistically not going to work. Life isn't fair though, and I get that. I will be fine, but I don't see my heart going through this again.
I know its my fault because I allowed myself to get in a long distance R. With someone coming out of another long term R and living on his own for the first time and with someone having no intentions of having an R. I'd like to think if there was enough love, then it would work itself out. But I know it really doesn't work that way.
I needed that vent. I often speak with my IC regarding this, and she is very supportive and keeps me on track. She keeps me real with myself, which has always been a bit of an issue with me. She knows I am a survivor and she thinks I am a rather healthy individual and she truly believes if not with this one, I shouldn't resign myself to a life of lonliness because she thinks I have a lot to offer to a healthy R.
Sometimes though, I think if this doesn't work out, I'd rather stay single until D8 is out of the house......
You are right, Cadet. The road is definitely smooth and bumpy, but to me, absolutely worth it. I'm glad we continue to work through our bumps. The thing that worries we, is we have a different vision of if we get to the point of me moving there, how it's going to look, and I just can't do it the way he sees it on on this one, because of D8. So sometimes I just wonder if I am delaying the inevitable. Only time will tell how it will go if we get to that point/
I'll be fine. Devastated for a little while if it doesn't work out, but somehow I am always fine. This has been quite a journey on being true to myself, my feelings, my wants and needs. I used to bend to accommodate the guys I have dated. Pretending I don't have certain needs or that I am ok with certain circumstances, even when I am not for fear of losing them. i.e: my ex. While I do put a lot of effort and compromise in, I do realize I need the same in return. I cannot hold a relationship together on my own. I tried that with my ex and it failed horribly.
Everything is a learning and growing experience, for sure.
G we went through the same thing. You know how far south I live. We had issues at first where we almost broke it off. So far it is working for us. I do not like living out of a suit case during the week. But than I say to myself. Wait I save on energy cost on my home, my job is 18 miles from her home and 91 from mine. So there are pros and cons. I did the same with ex. I made all the changes to accommodate her and I resented it. Now K and I both share as to where we stay during the week and weekends. She does want to move into my place permanently but she has her own 18 y/o D who lives at home. Don't lose hope it can work. Just be patient and see if you guys can negotiate.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
G, my advice is to take it very slowly. You don't want to make any big moves in your life to get closer to someone you haven't been with that long. If he can't wait then he isn't the one! I once dated a woman who wanted me to move in after a couple of months. I said I didn't think that would be good for our relationship...it was too new. Two months later she dumped me because she discovered she didn't love me "it was just lust"...uh, ok. I said it seemed odd that two months ago she wanted me to move in and now I'm history, she said "I guess you made a good decision then, didn't you". So don't rush things. I know distance can be a real challenge in the beginnng 'cuz that's the time when all those really powerful feelings come into play but you see that he's not been on his own that long and you don't want to pull up stakes to move and cause adjustment issues for your daughter or yourself. Give it time and if he can't deal with it...move on.
