New Year..Need new goals

[Zues126]

Hey Rain, I've been a bit distracted with my book writing on Julie's thread...but I got caught up.

Pink's advice is awesome.

My only tidbit is this...before responding to any text or email...I would meditate for 15 minutes, then pray for 5. I would meditate to find the center, be the mountain, aware of all of the storms but not defined or impacted, just breathing, then just being. Then when things had slowed down, I'd pray for strength, pray to be able to see things through God's eyes, pray that I could overcome my neediness and attachment, and that ultimately I would channel my best self in my response.

Without fail my responses were spot on. I have all of my emails, I've read through them, I never regretted anything I said. When it comes to texts and emails, they should be like the free square in Bingo...no mistakes are allowed. Just make it a priority.

The best part is that it just helps you start to feel more balanced and see things more clearly. You're not doing it for him, you're doing it for your marriage, but also for you. Pretty soon you just know how to respond. I just posted on my thread about a text exchange with XW. It was easier than ever, I didn't have to mediate or pray, just breathed deep, and it flowed. Partly because I'm divorced and more detached, partly because I put in 18 months of practice and it felt like she hurt her hand punching my 6 pack abs. So start doing this now, it's like working out.

Calls are tougher, so keep them minimal. But still, if you do this work, and if you prepare the same way, you should be just fine if you keep them short.

Bottom line, the biggest thing is to change yourself so you don't have to 'act', but preparing for these calls forces you to find your best self and help the act become real much faster.