One comment - he probably has more than one set of feelings. Of course he is going to feel hurt and angry, and also just plain frustrated. He's going to feel pushed out.
But that doesn't mean he doesn't feel loving and tender, or that he doesn't identify strongly with you. People are really complex, they have lots of feelings at the same time. So I'm very careful about what I say to my wife. I don't want to push her away further because I'm feeling like there is this big sexual barrier between us.
So I think it's really good for you to be aware how much it hurts to not have sex in your relationship, how pushed away he may feel. But I don't think it's dishonest to try to focus on what is good about the marriage, and there's a reason that people like your husband and I don't want to poison what we have by dwelling only on our sexual frustration. I have only so many hours a week with my wife, and I want to use them in a way that builds the marriage.
