Back to square one, not sure I can do this again!

[- MB -]

Is depression the same as MLC?

MB can I ask after you made contact after 5 weeks and this happened have you felt like it's all started over again?

We had contact after 3 weeks and she tells me it upsets her and that I need to leave her be so I am doing that

I'm lucky, I am so sorry that you're having a hard time. Believe me, I KNOW how hard it it and how much it [censored]. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW!

Depression is not the same as MLC. You can have depression without having MLC. BUT, the people that are in a MLC are depressed.

At the very beginning of this journey, I went for 2 weeks without seeing H. When I made contact, he was glad to see me and we talked (not relationship stuff) for a while. He got tearful and we hugged. But, that was it. He answered my calls a couple more times, then he was over it and back to not wanting contact. It took me a while to get that through my head, but when I did, I went dark and had no contact at all with him for 5 weeks. When I finally reached out to him again, he was SO FREAKING GLAD TO SEE ME that he couldn't stop staring at me. He immediately wanted me back and thought he had lost me forever. He called OW the very next day and broke contact with her. His happiness to see me was SO intense and awesome. We were back together for 12 days, then he got anxious and confused again and pushed me away. At that point I was devastated and yes, that's what my tag line is about. I feel like I just started over right from the beginning. I reached out to him yesterday and got him an appointment with a doctor that he wouldn't have been able to do himself (I work at a hospital and know the doctors so I pulled strings to get it done). He agreed to go see the doctor which is a huge step for him because he hates doctors. I really and truly hope he goes to see him and listens to his advice! I would not have changed the fact that we had 12 days together....even if it left me heartbroken and devastated. I got to talk to him during that time and he got to hear things from me that he wouldn't have been open to listen to before. He is 100% in the middle of a MLC and I so pray that he will find his way soon.

It is hard to leave them alone, but you can't change what they are going to think or do anyway. Staying in contact only seems to make them more mad at YOU and that isn't helpful to trying to get them back. I really didn't think the no contact thing would work. I was skeptical. But, it DID work and I am so glad I did it. I only hope it works a second time for me. Today is my first day of no contact/going dark and I miss him already. I will try to be as strong as I can be. That's all I can do.

Good luck and stay strong. If you make a mistake, just remember that we all do....then, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get right back at it. Read up on the 180 and give it a shot. It really does work!!