Gotta chime in with everyone else - it's absolutely GREAT that you're working on it. If my H initiated 2x in one week... *fans herself* Your H is a lucky man. :-D
And it's always good to have another LD on the forum - I think we HDs need the perspective, because it can be just as hard sometimes to get into other side of the question for us. (-:
I've gotta say, though, that more than likely he *does* feel like you're in charge of your sex life, whether he admits it to himself or you. Because... well... you are. You're the sole provider of a need of his. In any situation like that, the person who wants or needs something they only find in one place is dependent upon that place for fulfillment. BUT... obviously you're working on it and trying to see things from his POV. The feelings of being hurt and angry, of really having the other be "in charge," in my experience anyway :-D, really only become strong when that need ISN'T being fulfilled and there's no change in sight. *frowns, trying to find a way to put the difference* At the risk of seriously simplifying things - this is a loose analogy - you depend on your car to get around... without access to a car, you're stuck, and things get really frustrating. But you don't really feel that dependency, or realize it on a conscious level, until it breaks down. So I guess what I'm saying is that you being willing to work on it with and for him (and for you, too!), especially if you're following the "Just do it!" strategy, probably makes it so that feeling isn't very strong. Because - always remember - it's not the need for sex... it's the need to feel loved, and physical touch and desire are his best ways of receiving love. So you working on it will probably (I know it was for me!) make him feel pretty loved by itself... and while it's naturally a middle stage, that feeling of resentment and dependence tends to really reduce when you're being met at least halfway. (-: It's still there - at least for me - but it's not as big a deal as it was before, and it's definitely not the part I focus on. So he might not be hiding his "true feelings" about you, just focusing on the more important parts of his true feelings. (-:
So... keep up the good work! :-D
I am turning in revolution
these are the scars that silence carved
on me
