Well Jen, pat yourself on the back because, of all the HD Regulars here (Tim, the daves, CeMar, me, who am I leaving out?) none of our wives are motivated to the point you are. I'm sure the same goes for the HD Women, too.
My goodness, you initiated twice last week?! Here, that merits a bronze statue in the SSM Town Square. Initiating, as CeMar will, no doubt tell you, is the pinnacle, the ultimate, the DING DING DING love tank filler of all time...but only if it is genuine, and your desire for your H shows through.
If I wasn't so hopped up on anti-depressants, I'd be crying right now because you aren't my wife. My wife is nothing like you, in fact.
The fact that you feel bad about yourself, that you feel selfish, is (although maybe a bit harsh), refreshing and unexpected. But stop putting any energy into making yourself feel guilty or depressed. Put that energy into discovering (or rediscovering) your sexual self. You owe that to yourself. Find out what gets that engine running.
I'm sure you'll get lot's of other advice. Hurray to you, Jen. Hurray!
