Kyrie, I also struggle often with DB because it feels like I don't matter at all. The bottom line is that we matter very much, but we are the ones here trying to save our marriages and until our partners (if ever) are 100% on board with us to work on the marriage then we need to push aside our feelings and focus on how we can change and meet our partners needs. And meet our own needs in the meantime through GAL, a job, friends, etc, meet our own needs outside of the marriage because our spouse just cannot or will not right now. DB is a lesson in pushing our pride and ego aside for what could be a very long time in the hopes that we can save our marriage. It is hard. But please remember that you do matter, and if your H was on here he would be getting the same "tough love" advice from Zues and the others. But he is not here, you are.
Hang in there. It [censored], I know, but think of the bigger picture.
