You can't underestimate the noise of life. It can be absolutely deafening if left untreated. You treat the "noise" together. You talk about it and talk about and talk about it some more. There will be disagreements. You have to commit to each other to keep the disagreements civil. That sometimes you might agree to disagree. After the disagreement is resolved there is no resentment and nobody goes to bed mad. Marriage can be hard. Even if you truly love each other. We're all individual human beings. Part of being in a marriage means we've agreed to give up quite a bit of our individuality to be a couple. People incapable of giving up any part of their individuality to be part of an equal partnership usually end up alone.
As far as these things go I really think you're ahead of the curve here. I understand the concern over the phone. My wife hasn't cheated on me in 3+ years but just a few weeks ago I walked up on her and she turned her iPad to shield it from me. My heart literally stopped for a second or two. I triggered hard. It turns out she was on Amazon looking at Christmas presents for me and didn't want me to see. I teared up and was noticeably shaken. When she realized why she told me what she was doing and said here, you can look. I said no, it's ok , this is just PTSD. She was shaken up too. She is realizing just how traumatic her infidelity was. You can't dwell on these triggers though. That can take you back to a dark place. I'm hopeful that if I don't let them get to me that they'll fade over the years. I've read that they will.
The way I live today is I no longer sweat any of the small stuff and if life is good...I don't pick at it.
Could she betray me again in the future? Sure. Anyone can betray anyone else. That's life. Can I worry about that? No, if I do it could ruin my marriage.
