I agree with Cadet, talking to a lawyer is a good idea. Recognizing that divorcing isn't what your want, knowing what your options are and what to expect will be empowering.
Your goals look good too. Mona52 suggesting talking about procrastinating later had me laughing out loud! Love it!
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G8r. It took a lot for me to get over spying. Think to yourself is knowing what she is doing going to make you feel better or worse. It used to kill me wanting to know what she was doing and when I found things it hurt much worse than not knowing. It takes self control and a lot of it. Remember have no expectations of r or S. Keep focusing on what makes you happy. Slowly things will be less about her and more about you and your child. Your doing great from what I see and there will be set backs. How they affect you is what you can control
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
How true Tyler12. How true. I was doing much better when I didn't know what the W was doing. I didn't care where she was going or to whom she was speaking. I wish I hadn't lost my keys, I never would have seen the list.
Hard to focus on me right now, so I focus on D3. Getting ready to go home from work and play with D3 for a few hours before I give her a shower, read her 2 or 3 books and put her to bed.
Although I love my W and want to R, I'm more upset about a future where I'm not able to see my D3 everyday. I spend so much time in the evening with her because I leave the house in the morning before she awakens so I don't get to see her. She is growing up SOOOOOO fast! She just turned 3 and I've already got her starting to write and spell! The W helped as well but I read to her much more than she does and she often copies some of the things I start doing with her because she sees their effect. Just wish she saw the changes I've already made and the ones I'm making progress. Oh well, such is life.
BTW, I don't mean to be rude. I will check out your sitch as well as Mona52's and others in the near future. I want to start offering support very soon.
Me:44 W:38 T:10.5 M:7.5 D:3 BD: 7/2015 W moves out of MBR: 9/2015 WW files for D: 2/8/2016
"Okay, How will you continue to be a great father? What are one or 2 things you can take an action and DO to be a great father?"
Not really sure. I suppose the one thing I would like to improve is my mood around her. She can sense when I'm sad. Hard to fake it to a kid. I want to act happy around her but sometimes it's hard. Don't have a specific plan of action to attack that though.
"What would be the first step in increasing the pass rate? What do you teach????" I used to teach Psychology, Neuroscience, Research Methods and Statistics at the college level but I've moved to teaching Physical Science to high school kids at a Title 1 school. It's a new prep for me. Although I tried to make the material applicable to the kids, I've thought of even more ways to do so. Getting the students to turn assignments would also help, but that's not something I can do. Lol.
"What action or goal will help you in this area. Do you want to eat better? What is the first step for this?" Already losing some weight because I don't have as much of an appetite. I also don't snack as much because I've dropped my TV watching to almost zero, other than occasional cartoons with D3.
How often will you do these body core exercises? I'll start small. 3x per week and go from there.
We can talk about procrastination later. ROFL!
Me:44 W:38 T:10.5 M:7.5 D:3 BD: 7/2015 W moves out of MBR: 9/2015 WW files for D: 2/8/2016
Well, it looks like I screwed up again. W asked me to talk because she wants amicable divorce. I tried to listen and validate but I did a crappy job of it because other times I would start defending myself and occasionally speaking in a condescending tone. I know it was wrong and I should have walked away but I didn't.
I know that it's not necessarily over but it sure feels like it right now.
Me:44 W:38 T:10.5 M:7.5 D:3 BD: 7/2015 W moves out of MBR: 9/2015 WW files for D: 2/8/2016
Re-read those validation statements. One conversation doesn't mean it's over.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Yep. She texted me that she wants me to move out and she will file next week or perhaps even tomorrow. Told her that it would be easier for me to move during summer break. Semester just started.
I also need time to speak with my own attorney. Not sure whether or not I want to push the adultery bit. I also don't know if I want to push physical abuse. She has hit me on 2 occasions but i didnt report it because it didn't hurt and I didn't feel threatened. I also have pictures of an incident of her biting me. The picture shows my arm and her teeth. Again I didn't feel threatened. I did consider calling the cops that time but didn't want her arrested. I also don't know how much proof the picture would provide because a good lawyer could argue that they don't know whose arm it is and it would cost a boatload to get a forensic dentist to confirm its my W's teeth.
Right now I will do nothing because I'm feeling rather emotional. Need to talk to a lawyer this weekend.
She just texted again. This time she said a month should be sufficient rather than having to move out over the course of the next 2 weekends. I replied that her offer doesn't work for me. Thought she wanted to be reasonable. Show me.
Looks like a long night.
Me:44 W:38 T:10.5 M:7.5 D:3 BD: 7/2015 W moves out of MBR: 9/2015 WW files for D: 2/8/2016
I am sorry she asked you to leave. This might sound weird, but why are you the one moving out, when this is her decision?
You cannot let her touch you. Even if it does no real damage. I dont think you can do anything about the bite or past hits, but if she raises her hand to you again, you have to report it.
I would sit and think about moving out. Under no circumstances should you let her dictate how soon you move, if you even do. They get pushy and the try to control you. You have to immediately show her that she no longer has any control over you in any way.
Even though it might feel like she will hate you if you make things hard on her, those feelings are false. You are allowed to make her mad. You are not destroying your M by standing up for yourself. Repeat that over and over, because it sounds like you will really need that as s shield for her.
Is it possible to get full custody of D3? No one like to see a D away from mom, but the title mom does not automatically mean full custody. It sounds like you are present 100% in D3's life. You can fight to remain so. It is 100% up to you.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
