Anyway... We were all just saying how insanely close we live to each other We have Pennsylvania for me, mut is NJ, Di is Canada, I am guess and this is ONLY a guess, Gmum is NY (boo Giants). Judy, I think you are Tx . I have high doubts Fo will want to say, and that is okay.
It would make DBing so much easier if we could all GAL together . Lets all just pack up and move to Florida and discuss Michelle's book over cocktails.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Reading back in your forums Mona and it is amazing te support and friendship that.grows here taking to each other. I like Di am also in Canada.
I barely know you Mona as I still have to go back and read your forums. And I am looking forward to it! From what I do know so far is you are a strong and kind hearted woman. Try not to lose sight of that!
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
I would be nice to hang out with people who fully get it. I've hung out with other lbs but they were all angry and not willing to reconcile even if that was an option, so I felt a little left out.
Anyway... We were all just saying how insanely close we live to each other We have Pennsylvania for me, mut is NJ, Di is Canada, I am guess and this is ONLY a guess, Gmum is NY (boo Giants). Judy, I think you are Tx . I have high doubts Fo will want to say, and that is okay.
It would make DBing so much easier if we could all GAL together . Lets all just pack up and move to Florida and discuss Michelle's book over cocktails.
Mona, I am not far. Depending on where you are in PA might only be 2 hours. I am 4 hours to Mut's house.
Weird. My mother's roof is leaking. The water caused electrical problems. My H and sis and mom were in my closet the other day because my light fixture filled up with water and the bulb exploded.
My H fixed my light the day he came over. The next day I sent him a quick text :It is nice to have a closet light again, thank you. He replied :Yw
But, there was more electrical damage. The clothes dryer does not work because the breaker is only 100 and should be 200. I have no idea what the heck that means, but my mother asked my H to make the breaker work again. She bought a new breaker or fuse or something. He had all week to come over and do it, but he told her he cannot come over until Saturday. Saturday I will be home all day... He knows I work all week, he knows I asked him not to come into my house. He knows he should come while I am at work.
This time I am not going to let him scare me out of my house. On Christmas, I did not want to see him, so I drove around the block while he was here with the kids and did not come home until he was gone. I was trying to stay as dark as possible with him. I did not want him to have any access to me on Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years. He texted me on my birthday, and I thanked him, so I was not completely dark. He did not text me Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years.
He should not come on Saturday, but I am not leaving my house because he decided to come on a day I am there. If he wants to come on Saturday, he will just have to see me. Maybe I will make it real uncomfortable for him and help him fix a breaker.
I am 100% certain I will not fight with him. It does not matter what bait he uses. He can tell me I look fat in those jeans, or he does not want to see the kids anymore, or he quit his job and I will get no more support, or he loves OW and wants to marry her. There is nothing he can say to get me to lose it.
I have 3 very very juicy memories as my shield. One is from him. I am going to make doubly sure I have my mind firmly fixed on these three intoxicating memories. They will keep a huge smile on my face and my mind off my M, my R and my H.
While we were married, I basically wore whatever my mom picked up for my at garage sales. She picked out nice clothes, but they were mostly older women clothes. I did not care. I would never spend my paycheck on clothes for me when the three kids always needed something.
Since our separation, I have gone shopping. For the first time in 20 years, I wear clothes that are my style. I did not even know I owned a style! But it feels unbelievable good. He has never seen the new me, with my new hair cut, in my own clothes. On Saturday, I will make sure I have the cutest outfit on.
But I have a question. I have the greatest pair of ankle boots. They really are amazing. But they are kinda a high heel.
My H is five foot even. I am taller than that, so I never, ever wear heels. If I wear the heels, will that make him feel bad? I will end up five or 6 inches taller than him.
Keep in mind, OW lives 7 states away, so even if he wanted to, he has no way of getting any physical contact from her. I know I am going through he|| with the complete absence of any kind of physical touch and his sex drive has always been higher than mine. My sex drive is high to begin with.
That part of this whole nightmare is the hardest for me to wrap my head around. Sex is one of the most important things in his world. So much so that even when we were mad at each other, we never withdrew in the bedroom. He would come up often, but then go back to his computer. So, even though I spent almost every night alone in bed, we still had physical relations regularly.
How the he|| is he able to function every day? I constantly struggle, i feel like I am starving and it is almost unbearable in my new lonely bed. How can he do it?
I know, I know, there is no answer to this question. I cant ask what is going on in his head. LBS's always have so many questions they are dying to know the answer to, and the cold fact is they will never find the answers they think they need.
I will tell you this. If that man comes into my house, on purpose, on a day he knows I am there, I am going to torture him. I will brush up against this, or accidentally touch that. Plus a whole other bag of subtle tricks. I have been with him 20 years, I know exactly what he likes and can give it to him in a way that is not obvious at all.
I love you all dearly, and I can already hear your words of caution. No sex with STBX! They will cake eat. They have to miss you. They cant go through their MLC if you are there. They are with OW and could have a disease! And lastly, No sex with EX!
I wont, I wont. I will just torture him (which will torture me...) I cant become much more tortured than I already am.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
Do what makes you happy Mona. Yes you want him to see you looking amazing and he should. Make him see what he is missing out on. At the same time are you going to let what he thinks or says change how you feel about yourself? I am not letting W dictate that to me. You are happy and attractive Mona no matter what!
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Depression sign #27: ML'ERS BECOME VERY COMPETITIVE WITH LOVED ONES
When a spouse is in mid life crisis, their LBS as well as other close family members become the enemy. Ml'ers are constantly comparing their loved ones with themselves. Many times they fall short and this leads to further insecurity and self-doubt. During their journey, they are out to prove that they are important and admired and become very competitive. They will withhold compliments/achievements toward important family members at this time. They begin to choose people in their lives that will make them feel good about themselves. Usually this means choosing people who are less accomplished and lower in character in order to make themselves feel better about themselves.
This is why I felt so betrayed on Thanksgiving. He chose to go to my sister's house. My sister burglarized him too. He never spoke to her! Now he is spending a major holiday with her and completely ignoring my existence.
But if you read this, (Thanks Judy for posting the link to this on inpain's thread) of course he would choose my sis. He has to believe no matter how bad his actions are, at least he is better than the criminal. Yeah, well, I got news for you Mr. Jerkface... your actions did more damage than she could ever do.
I am hanging out on MLC forum archives today. Want to make sure I dont parent or criticize or judge on Saturday. This will be the longest we have been near each other since I kicked him out.
I am not worried that I will mess up badly. I care less and less each day about how he feels. But I still want to do my best.
Me: 42 H: 45 M: 18 yrs T: 20 yrs D: 17 D: 15 S: 12 I kicked him out 8/21/15 I will DB until March 21st 2017, that is it!
We have Pennsylvania for me, mut is NJ, Di is Canada, I am guess and this is ONLY a guess, Gmum is NY (boo Giants). Judy, I think you are Tx 
. I have high doubts Fo will want to say, and that is okay.