B's 10-Week Bootcamp

[RosaLinda]

Hey B, congratulations on passing your exam! Awesome! Glad you decided to keep wearing your wedding ring. It's such a personal decision, but sort of reveals your mindset to your wife and kids (and other women) that you still see yourself as married and are still "working on it," for the moment at least.

Anyway, so another little tidbit/lightbulb moment. I actually had the thought this morning that there is nothing wrong with my life except for my marriage. A couple of months ago I wouldn't have even been able to comprehend how such a notion is possible for someone, especially me, to even utter, much less mean. But it is true. I have a pretty good life. I have a lot of things to be grateful for. But yes, I've had one really crummy marriage.

So...I guess I'm really starting to do it. I think I'm successfully detaching. Do I love the woman I'm married too? Yes. Do I want to save our marriage and make it better than ever? Yes. Is that ever going to happen? I have no idea. I will be here if she ever decides she wants to, but until then I have a life to live.

You ARE starting to successfully detach, yea for you B. Don't worry if you experience multiple temporary re-attachments LOL. I too had a crummy marriage to a man whom I loved dearly. We had opposite love languages, and did not meet each other's needs (I do accept my half of the blame for that), but I really always thought he would come out of his crisis, and that with all the stuff I had learned over the past couple of years, I could "fix" us and we would have a wonderful marriage. It was not meant to be, but I am living my life and am happy with a new guy who appreciates me.

And you shall be too. Hopefully, with your wife. And if not, you'll be okay.

Anyway...I don't know what all I am saying. I just don't really have too many people to share these things with, so here I am sharing with you all.

Ramble away, my friend. We are all in this together; even those of us who are years past the bomb still have to deal with our exes and being single parents. You are doing great. Honestly, reading about your new attitude of gratitude and desire to have God in your life brought tears to my eyes and told me that your changes are real and that you are going to make it with or without your wife. Hang in there!