I had a long talk yesterday with a friend IRL about the parenting situation. She said I needed to have a come-to-Jesus with him about stepping up and parenting more actively, or ask him to take a parenting class. I feel like I'm not capable of having the conversation with him and I'm certain he would blow off the parenting class just as he blew off therapy, and for the same reasons. She also feels like he got off too easily when he walked out on his family.
I'm starting to get a stomachache from thinking about this.
Yesterday afternoon D12 and S9 were screaming at each other because each thought it was their turn to have the one-one date with Mr. Fantastic. A text to Mr. Fantastic moved the argument in S9's favor but D12 dug in her heels and at the end S9 offered to share his evening with her. When I got home I updated Mr. F he said he would apologize to D12 for the mixup.
I lost patience. I told him the apology should be to S9, who gets the least amount of his time and misses him the most. I told him he needed to quit winging it on these one-on-ones and calendar whose turn was whose because I was sick of taking the blowback for his bad choices. Then I shut up because I would have said more and it would not have been constructive.
To his (minor) credit, he did fix the calendar.
He took D12 house hunting with him last week and she informed me that he's considering buying a house that costs the same as the one I had to move out of, but which comes with space for two tenants. One of the two spaces has been occupied by the same tenant for 30 years. All the houses he looked at cost more than the one I'm in and the tenant one is the front runner. Do I need to be concerned about this? Has anyone dealt with that before?
I'm feeling grumpy and heavy today. I think what my friend said yesterday about him walking out with basically no consequences struck a nerve and I'm having a delayed reaction.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
