You have trained your brain to think of W nearly all the time. You don't do it consciously - it's just that since this started, you've given it so much thought that now, that's the first place your brain wants to go.
This is where I've been for a while now. My brain automatically thinks about the old life and marriage. Amazing how many things I encounter during the day either remind me of the XW or perhaps are used by me subconsciously as an excuse to think about her.
