Is - Getting caught did not "ruin" 3 months of DB work. It set you back a little, but ruin is far too dramatic a way to view it. Each of us here made, or is making, some kind of mistake. We're just people, doing the best we can in difficult circumstances. Sometimes we make mistakes. Let it go. You screwed up, you realize it, and now you can move on.
If she files, Is, you may find the two of you getting along better than ever. The pressure of making a choice will be lifted from her, and she'll be more calm and relaxed. You have no idea how envious I am that it is harder to D in the UK. 2 years before D is final. I could do so much great DBing in 2 years.
Each state in the US has its' own laws regarding D. The state I reside in only requires 60 days to pass after filing. 60 days. That is ridiculous. I can't do anything about it, but it's hardly a good plan for keeping families together.
It sounds like you have some great activities planned for the next couple of days. Greece? OMG - I have always wanted to go there. You are correct when you say that your being away will help give W time and space. I hope she uses it wisely.
It will also give you some time to reflect. Take walks. Refresh.
This is a long, hard road. I'm sorry you're here - but I'm really proud of you for being here, too.
