Gmum, I've been reading your posts on other's threads today, and I've had a few thoughts. I believe it would help you a lot if you could reframe some of them a little.
For instance, you said it bothered you that H was talking about when D was older, she would start traveling with him. Yes, you will absolutely miss her - but what a fantastic opportunity for D! She gets to have a father who is interested in her, who wants to spend time with her, and she'll be a world-traveler! The only drawback I see in that situation is that you'll miss her - but she'll be getting an education that very few children have the opportunity to have. That's actually pretty wonderful, Gmum.
It's a way off right now, but I really believe it will help you if you reframe how you're looking at that thing, in particular. I know you are a devoted mother, and the thought of her being away from you just sends your mind reeling - but when she's older, it won't bother you as much. And you'll have opportunities very few mothers ever get. You'll have some free time to do whatever you want. Most of us don't get that until our children are adults and leave home.
You're still a young mom, with a young child - you're going to have to place some trust in my viewpoint as a much older mom with adult children. I would have loved for them to have opportunities to travel. As much as I loved my kids, it would have been really wonderful to have stretches of time just for myself. The only thing like that I had was when they'd go off to church camp in the summers for two weeks.
Each of us enjoyed that. And when they came back home? It was wonderful! We were overjoyed to be together again. The time away, doing our own thing, was beneficial and homecoming re-cemented our bond.
I hope that helps you a little bit. I am truly sorry this is happening to you. You sound like such a wonderful woman. Your H is out of his mind, leaving you for someone else. Don't worry too much about him sounding sane. Some of them (WAS) portray that quite well, but it doesn't change the fact they are not thinking clearly. A clear thinker would not abandon his wife and child. My H sounds perfectly logical and sane, too. If I hadn't spent the last 21 years with this man, and knowing for certain that until recently, he had a very different mind-set, I would believe the things that he is saying. He sounds as logical and sane as anyone else - but his personality, his thoughts? Not the man I married. People change, yes - but not usually their values.
