Reminds me, a woman who works in my building was flabbergasted when I told her about what's going on. "But you're so pretty and beautiful and he...", she said while making an irked face and clapping the top of head because H doesn't really have amazing hair. I know I shouldn't have laughed, but I did.
LOL...I keep thinking nasty thoughts that give me secret pleasure, but that I am too darned nice to ever say to H. He started losing his hair on his head in his 20's. At the same time, he has an overabundance of body hair. He had gum disease, so he wears a bridge for his bottom front teeth. He has a pot belly.
I look at him at times, especially when he's taking my inventory, and I'm thinking: "You are a bald, hairy, toothless, pot-bellied wonder." Why am I with you, exactly?"
Words that will never come out of my mouth, because it's beneath me to attack someone on that level. But I think it. I guess I'm not a very nice person, after all.
He doesn't deserve me. That, I am certain of - the person he is right now does not deserve the compassion and forgiveness I long to extend. I'll change cling a little more tightly to the hatred side, so that I can get through this.
