Jelly, you have zero idea what it's like to struggle to connect with others. Friendship isn't even possible for me. Having even glimmers of understanding sounds like paradise.

(this is my way of joking about what a jerk I am by the way)

I don't have answers. I know that I've never been normal. I lived in a poolhall practicing line drills for 10 hours a day for a reason. I saw others doing things together, hanging out, telling jokes...they all looked like a different species. I know what it means to wonder about the steps to the dance, but knowing that like catching a ball there is no way to calculate how to do even something that comes easy to anyone else but you.

Sometimes I think I've worked through it. I'm less sensitive. I no longer worry about it. I feel pretty ok with who I am. I notice people seem to like me some of the time. I'm like, 'hey, I've grown, I'm more calm then I used to be!'

Then I look around and I'm by myself writing posts on a forum and playing chess.

Have you heard 'misfits' by the kinks? It's not that deep, just a nice tune. What do they listen to in NZ?

Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15