Mona, wine makes everything better. I also suddenly become a grammy award winning artist when consuming it. And I walk in heels perfectly. It's pure magic.
So the H filed for an uncontested d, but apparently you only do that when you have all financial and custodial matters settled. We don't. So I only have a few days to send the papers back. I think he made an appointment for us with a mediator/lawyer tomorrow, but hasn't confirmed that yet.
He's coming by tonight to discuss. I'm so sick of him. I really hope he leaves town soon. I don't even give a duck if he's with the ow. Ugh!
Yesterday my d started telling me stories. Usually they're just like "once upon a time there was a scary monster RAHHH" type stuff, but all of a sudden she talked about a little mouse that was sad cause the parents won't there, then she quickly changed that to the mom was there but the dad was at work. Heartbreaking.
Rouky, it was nice to get into the routine although very hard to get up so early. My day was ok until the above happened.
Thanks for the hug, Mona. I so envy you your social life.
So the H filed for an uncontested d, but apparently you only do that when you have all financial and custodial matters settled. We don't. So I only have a few days to send the papers back. I think he made an appointment for us with a mediator/lawyer tomorrow, but hasn't confirmed that yet.
He's coming by tonight to discuss. I'm so sick of him. I really hope he leaves town soon. I don't even give a duck if he's with the ow. Ugh!
Yesterday my d started telling me stories. Usually they're just like "once upon a time there was a scary monster RAHHH" type stuff, but all of a sudden she talked about a little mouse that was sad cause the parents won't there, then she quickly changed that to the mom was there but the dad was at work. Heartbreaking.
Rouky, it was nice to get into the routine although very hard to get up so early. My day was ok until the above happened.
Thanks for the hug, Mona. I so envy you your social life.
Oh Gmum, it is so hard when our children show how much they're hurting with things like your D's story isn't it. I had a similar incident myself tonight when I put my D to bed. H had been round for all of 20 minutes and left just as it was time for children to go to bed. All he did was say how tired he is because he hasn't slept well today after his night shift. D said..."I don't sleep well since Daddy left, I can't get to sleep. Daddy is always saying he doesn't sleep well now, he always used to sleep well when he lived here." Hmmm...out of the mouths of babes. Yes, he did always sleep well here - perhaps he has things on his mind (bless - not!). All we can do is give our children extra tight squeezes and try to hug their pain away. I think it is the thing I hate most about this situation we find ourselves in - not being able to stop my children hurting.
Aw man. Did she say it after your H left? He came by tonight (went ok, I guess) but when we told D that he would come pick her up tomorrow morning and take her to this activity, she got upset and said she wanted me to go. It's pretty normal she will choose one over the other but go back and forth but she was very insisting it should be me.
It breaks my heart knowing that soon she'll learn that he doesn't live with us anymore. This is not what I signed up for.
I am sorry your daughter has to experience this. This is one of the reasons I live like I do, so my son will not have to experience that. I cannot imagine what it must feel like to see your child so sad, dejected and confused about her family. Don't get me wrong, the kids know we are struggling but my wife and I make no waves. Be strong Gmum and hug your daughter
Gmum, I've been reading your posts on other's threads today, and I've had a few thoughts. I believe it would help you a lot if you could reframe some of them a little.
For instance, you said it bothered you that H was talking about when D was older, she would start traveling with him. Yes, you will absolutely miss her - but what a fantastic opportunity for D! She gets to have a father who is interested in her, who wants to spend time with her, and she'll be a world-traveler! The only drawback I see in that situation is that you'll miss her - but she'll be getting an education that very few children have the opportunity to have. That's actually pretty wonderful, Gmum.
It's a way off right now, but I really believe it will help you if you reframe how you're looking at that thing, in particular. I know you are a devoted mother, and the thought of her being away from you just sends your mind reeling - but when she's older, it won't bother you as much. And you'll have opportunities very few mothers ever get. You'll have some free time to do whatever you want. Most of us don't get that until our children are adults and leave home.
You're still a young mom, with a young child - you're going to have to place some trust in my viewpoint as a much older mom with adult children. I would have loved for them to have opportunities to travel. As much as I loved my kids, it would have been really wonderful to have stretches of time just for myself. The only thing like that I had was when they'd go off to church camp in the summers for two weeks.
Each of us enjoyed that. And when they came back home? It was wonderful! We were overjoyed to be together again. The time away, doing our own thing, was beneficial and homecoming re-cemented our bond.
I hope that helps you a little bit. I am truly sorry this is happening to you. You sound like such a wonderful woman. Your H is out of his mind, leaving you for someone else. Don't worry too much about him sounding sane. Some of them (WAS) portray that quite well, but it doesn't change the fact they are not thinking clearly. A clear thinker would not abandon his wife and child. My H sounds perfectly logical and sane, too. If I hadn't spent the last 21 years with this man, and knowing for certain that until recently, he had a very different mind-set, I would believe the things that he is saying. He sounds as logical and sane as anyone else - but his personality, his thoughts? Not the man I married. People change, yes - but not usually their values.
