It just hit me it's been October since I posted anything! Geez. Things get busy around here. I hope everyone's had a wonderful Christmas and New Year.

We are still together...I wish I knew what this was called....limbo? We're living this roommate arrangement almost. She's demonstrably more stable; she started IC a few months ago and it's been fantastic for her.

Things almost seem normal most of the time and we get along fantastically, but the intimacy is gone. We just can't seem to connect in that way. We get along, we're polite, we do things as a couple and as a family, but it really feels just like a roommate situation.

I don't know how long to keep this up. I don't know if it's hopeless. She says she's invested and wants to keep things together, but she doesn't give. She seems to expect me to twist in the wind indefinitely while she figures things out. How long am I supposed to invest in this? I personally don't think that once you've lost that attraction to someone that you can get it back, but she seems to want to hold on. When I question whether this is worth it or not, she accuses me of wanting to bolt. Well, yeah, sometimes I do. I'd love it if she woke up tomorrow morning and wanted me again (she wants to want me confused ), but I don't want to wast the next 5 - 10 years of my life hoping she comes around.

Ex Rzrback
Me 43 Her 44
D11, D15
T21, M19
BD 9/9/2014
Piecing

Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood